Looking at the 250 people gathered to celebrate the Fourth
of July at the Embassy I thought about leaving Lesotho. I stood at the back of
the crowd and mentally said good-bye to each of my friends. I said good-bye to
H as she dropped her papers while listening to the speech. I said good-bye to
everyone. Time to walk away.
We talked about having a good-bye party. Just three families
and we could not agree on the party, happy hour with kids or late night with
dancing. We all needed something different to leave. I know what is best for
me, walking away. No reason to say good-bye really, people I care about will
keep in touch one way or another, maybe we even see each other in a far off
place and time.
Just made my last batch of ice cream for the next two and a
half years. The ice cream maker is gong to Moscow. There are lots of good ice cream shops in the States, I don’t need to bring it along. I will
share it with friends at their going away party.
Saw H again Thursday evening and made arraignments to say
good-bye to her dog. Not her, didn’t need to, already said good-bye to her from
afar. For anyone in Lesotho
reading this bog, “Good-bye”. I love you and will miss you. Would prefer to
give everyone a true hug, American style, not the two or three cheek kiss thing
that I frequently botch. Know that I care, but I am not going to seek everyone
out.
How will the kids learn to say good-bye to places and
friends? The question is immediately followed by another, “Are we totally f-ing
them up for life?”
Aww your last sentence made me tear up a little bit. I am bringing my 5 year old into the FS life and my mom guilt is through the roof...I ask myself this question constantly. I'd like to say that absolutely the answer is "no" and that they will be better for the experiences. But I guess only time will tell--perhaps when they are in intensive therapy in their 20s LOL!
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