Parlez vous une autre langue?

I have had a lot of very similar conversations lately.  They usually go something like this.

FRIEND:  Hi, Spencer.
ME:  Hey!

FRIEND:  When do you start your new job?
ME:  Valentine's Day. My last day at the Council is February 11th.

FRIEND:  Oh.  Do you know where you are going yet?
ME:  Nope.  I will find out on March 11th.

Then I usually give a quick explanation (I really don't know much myself - it is very mysterious) of the bidding process, and how jobs are assigned to junior FSOs.

FRIEND:  Do you speak any other languages?
ME:  Nope. If I need to learn one, State will provide training.  I have to learn at least one other language within the first 5 years, or they kick you out, but there a lot of jobs and posts in the foreign service that require only English speaking.

FRIEND:  Oh, cool...

I can't tell you how many times recently that I've had some variant of this conversation, but if I had a nickel for every time, I could retire tomorrow.  As you gather from the above, I do not speak another language.  I took five years of French in middle and high school, but that was 18 years ago.  Wow, that just made me feel old.  Not only was it a long time ago, but I don't think that the way most Americans learn another language in school really helps anyone to learn another language.  We start way too late in life, and we aren't required to spend any real time on it.  It is just another subject in school; just another 50 minute period for 180 days for a few years.  And because it is required for most college prep curriculums, it is just something that we go through the motions on.  At least that was my experience.  I assume it is this way because most Americans don't believe there is any reason to learn another language.   If someone wants to speak with us, so the thinking goes, they'll speak English.

Language is a very important part of foreign service life; important enough that they give you bonus points on the register if you speak another language.  The bonus points are on a sliding scale where the size of the bonus corresponds to how important the language is to State at a given time.  For instance, languages like Chinese, Russian, Arabic, Pashto and Urdu are worth more than Spanish or Portuguese right now.  I obviously did not get a language bonus, but my veterans bonus was worth the same as if I spoke one of the easier, more common languages.  If I make a career in the foreign service, I will likely learn at least 2 new languages, and the diplobrats will likely learn several.  Assuming we can work out childcare arrangements, my wife can even learn another language at the same time that I do at the Foreign Service Institute (where State trains its diplomats).  So I see language as a pretty cool perk of the job.

Therefore, in honor of languages everywhere, here are some fun facts about language (with thanks to VistaWide: World Languages and Cultures):

To no one's surprise, Mandarin Chinese is spoken by the most people in the world: 1.051 billion (873 million native speakers/178 million speak it as a 2nd language)

Below is a list of the top 10 languages by numbers of native speakers.  The list is a little surprising both by what is on the list, but also what is not on the list.
    1. Mandarin
    2. Hindi (370 million native/120 million as 2nd lang)
    3. Spanish (350 million native/70 million as 2nd lang)
    4. English (340 million native/170 million as 2nd lang)

    5. Arabic (206 million native/24 million as 2nd lang)
    6. Portuguese (203 million native/10 million as 2nd lang)
    7. Bengali (196 million native/9 million as 2nd lang)
    8. Russian (145 million native/110 million as 2nd language)
    9. Japanese (126 million native/1 million as 2nd language)
    10. German (101 million native/128 million as 2nd language)

Surprising no-shows on the top 10 list are French (#18), Italian (#20), and Turkish (#21).

There are currently 6912 living languages, with 516 languages considered nearly extinct.

The country with the most languages spoken is Papua New Guinea, which has 820 living languages.

English is the most widely spoken 2nd language, the most widely published language, and has the most words, at approximately 250,000 distinct words.

Languages have been around since about 100,000 BC.

The language with the largest alphabet is Khmer (Cambodia) with 74 letters; smallest is Rotokas with 12 letters (4300 speakers in Bougainville, Papua New Guinea).

The oldest language still in existence is either Chinese or Greek (about 1500 BC).

The first written language is either Sumerian or Egyptian (about 3200 BC).

Timing is everything.

The application process to join the foreign service is long, opaque, and a little bit torturous.  Still, every year, many thousands of hardworking and intelligent individuals begin the process, the vast majority of whom will ultimately find rejection.  For a long time, getting through the process meant that your name was placed on an oversubscribed register of eligible candidates, and in most cases no job offer was ever extended.  Unless your oral assessment score put you in the top third or so of candidates, your candidacy expired after 18 months without a job.  That was the case until Colin Powell convinced George W. Bush that the foreign service was seriously understaffed.  This led to a surge in hiring over the last several years that had cleared off the registers, and made it much more likely that getting through the process would actually lead to a job.

Well, it looks like those bad old days are coming back... right now.  The yahoo shadow registers show that the registers have grown rapidly this year, and according to Harry W. Kopp over at Career Diplomacy:

The Department of State’s hiring program, carried forward under the name Diplomacy 3.0, will likely come to a halt. The program as originally announced in 2009 planned to increase the size of the foreign service by 25 percent over fiscal year 2008 levels over five years, ending in fiscal year 2013. It now appears that the program will end, or be suspended, well short of that goal. When hiring with fiscal year 2010 appropriations ends, as it soon will, the Department will have achieved an increase of about 15 percent over the FY 2008 base, adding about 1,900 foreign service employees (1,200 officers and 700 specialist), bringing the total service in the Department of State to about 13,400 (7,500 officers and 5,900 specialists).

If new hires in FY 2011 are held to the number needed to replace retiring employees and other departures, the number of new hires will drop from a projected level of around 830 under Diplomacy 3.0 to around 400, which is projected attrition. Similar levels are likely in FY 2012 as well. That means tougher competition for candidates.

I am extremely fortunate to have received my offer when I did. I think my score on the oral assessment would have gotten me off the register even if, or when, it became oversubscribed again, but I am glad that I don't have to find out.

For a number of reasons, my older brother Steve has always called me the golden boy. Mostly it is because, as the last of six kids, he thinks I have had it easy.  Well, it looks like in this case, the golden boy had golden timing.